My Life My Confession: Beyond the sea where i had wished to. Beyond the sea now, i wish it end.

Arsenal!

5 more weeks to go! and I'll unbound by the exasperating atmosphere in this land! Weeks ago, once I stepped out from Manchester airport, the air was chilled and filled with curiosity among the air itself, I begun my voyage in this well-known and unexplored land. Piece by piece the curiosity bottled inside me has been released. I have known what I had wanted, I have seen what I had wished, and I got bored of the surrounding. Is it my personality of getting bored easily? or the same for anyone?

Football has been one of my entertainments here as it used to be in my own country, but something missing while I am playing here. The ignition of the passion I have here isn't that combustible. While I am plying, I couldn't find any determination playing inside me. Maybe friends are the things I am searching for. Chemistry where it bonds between us is the treasure where I couldn't find here.

Food? I am pissed of my own home-made dishes. "What should I cook now?" This question haunts me every time before I get myself to the stove. Now, I know my mum's brain has been twisted to solve this question, everyday. Meat is the food my enzyme dates everyday, every meal perhaps. Luckily alcohol is with me for couple of days in a week. I think my belly is frustrated with the owner, me.

Me : what u want actually?
Belly : CCM nasi lemak, teh ais. Bakuteh. Laksa. Konocurrymee. Mum's cucumber + Heh Bi. Cendol + Chee Cheonh Fun. Char Kuey Teow + Si Ham. Lo mai kai + Siu Mai.
Me : Err......wtf... None of those for 5 more weeks! Eat pork la!
Brain : What bout me?!!! I am tired with your novels, internat and brain-condemming-meal-solving question! Get me some computer games, some movies!
Me : Err......ok ok. We'll watch "L Change The World" tomorrow. Deal.
Brain : (Satisfyingly).....Ok.
Eye : Me? Its been weeks! Where's my porn? Although I have seen a lot of pretties and blondes, I hope u can get some "movies" for me! I have been suffering!
Me : Wtf. Just stand for few more weeks! I'll poke u if u continue with ur moaning!
Right leg : I am worn-out u know! I am rusted! Just get me some balls to bang on! No more any out door field! I couldn't shoot as there isn't any goal post! Chop me off if u don't find any court for me to maximise my performance!
Me : Ok. I'll chop u off tomorrow.

That's what I am struggling here. I am rusted! Every part of me! From my hair till my toes! It's not my life!

Once, I thought living in up in the hill or in an island would be a dream life for me, but now, I don't think so. It's been like......hell? Living in an unfamiliar place is terrible. U don't know the rules and law, cultures and how all the things go. Where as in Malaysia, I can order nasi lemak mata kerbau tambah nasi tambah sambal tak mau timun, freely, as many times as I want without feeling embarrasing or afraid the worker might fed up with me. That's the main difference. I live freely in my own country! Affordably, I can buy anything I wanted to!

Here, their culture is different! "It is what it meant to be." Everything happen because what it supposed to. I am not sure that's a pros or cons. Perhaps, only for me. Red light = stop? How bout if everyone has crossed the road? U still wait there, where it can be seen obviously there is no one? Rule is rule. Good? And once it get me frustrated. I bought a jersey from a shop and wished it to be printed, a player name and number behind it. So, after I took back the jersey, I found the name and number's colour printed are different as it should be. So, I took the jersey to the shop and they told me I couldn't change anything because I have signed on the paper! Ok, I admit I was wrong. But, as a popular sport shop, they shouldn't make a mistake like that! Something like, they coloured their country flag in a wrong colour. Luckily the jersey isn't expensive. What a sad day.

But there is something good here too. They are really polite. To the max! And through my few weeks of observation, I can see that they are really matured. They are getting humbler as they are older. They seems like already have everything in their live and don't really selfish. Hahaha. Of coz they are various types of human in the earth. Less I could say in Malaysia. Probably because Malaysians struggled to get what they wished, so selfish is a thing which expected. "I got by sweating, blooding and hardship, so why I can give it to u as u didn't work as I do?" That's something I can feel inside Malaysians, maybe including me. ^^ But that is not we should blame? It's nature that shaped us. This is not an offensive comment. ^^ maybe "Selfish" not the best word, as it looks like an offence to Malaysians. ^^ Think for me please?

That's all for now. I hope I can get back to Malaysia as fast as I can. Wahahaha.